Rabbi Rael Blumenthal

Approaching Yom Kippur during any regular year is daunting. But the emotional whiplash of the past few months makes this year particularly confusing.

In the past few days alone, we have oscillated between national triumph and tragedy half a dozen times; constantly switching gears from Purim to Tisha B’av. And playing in the background of this relentless emotional rollercoaster is constant concern for our loved ones in Israel and our heroic chayalim on the battlefield. We have spend almost a year filling our shuls with desperate tefillos for the safe return of the hostages and strength for their families... And of course, immense gratitude to Hashem for guiding the hands of Tzahal to eliminate those who have sworn to destroy us... Not to mention the devastating effects of Hurricane Milton right here in Florida.

If we’re honest, it’s all a bit too much to bear.

The question arose in one of my classes this week. “Rebbe, are we supposed to be asking Hashem for forgiveness, praying for the things we want for ourselves and our families, or should our focus be all about Israel?” A few minutes of conversation later, and one student probed further: “Are we selfish if we daven for our own needs this year?”

For the first time in recent memory, it seems that Yom Kippur is simply not long enough. In the five tefillos and twenty-five hours of this lofty day, we will not have the time or mind-space to dedicate fully to any of these massive issues, let alone all of them.

We are each preparing to engage in a unique opportunity for conversation with the Melech Malchei HaMelachim. Yet we feel a frazzled, fragmented and disorganized, wondering what’s our goal here? What’s our aim? What are we trying to achieve?

Addressing these overwhelming questions, the Kriyas HaTorah for Yom Kippur describes the Avoda – the journey of the Kohen Gadol into the deepest and most transcendent place, on the most elevated day of the year. “See here”, the Torah details, “these are the directions to entering the world of Yom Kippur. This is how you do it.”

And so the Parsha begins: “With this, Aharon will enter the Kodesh”. This is the way in – בזאת יבא אהרן אל הקדש.

But the truth is that we’re getting ahead of ourselves. The Torah does not in fact begin with these instructions.

Instead, the Torah opens with the tragedy of the death of Nadav and Avihu, who died on the day of the inauguration of the Mishkan: אַחֲרֵי מוֹת שְׁנֵי בְּנֵי אַהֲרֹן בְּקׇרְבָתָם לִפְנֵי־ה׳ וַיָּמֻתוּ – after the death of the two sons of Aaron who died when they drew too close to the presence of Hashem.

It’s a bizarre place to begin. Why start our lofty and elevated Yom Kippur journey with this tragedy?

The Sod Yesharim explains with sensitivity and profundity:

בזאת היינו בזאת הגערה בעצמה שהיה במיתת בני אהרן כדכתיב עליהם בקרובי אקדש בזאת הגערה והיראה צריכין נמי ישראל להפריד מהם הרע בזה היום של יום כפור

With this pain and rejection that you feel over the death of Aharon's sons... Through that anger and fear itself, the Jewish people will rid themselves from all evil.

Somehow, the only way Aharon HaKohen can approach Hashem on Yom Kippur is by carrying the weight the of pain and loss of his children.

Imagine the scene: Moshe telling Aharon of the great mission he has been charged with. He will be entering into the Kodesh HaKodashim, on Yom Kippur. Achieving forgiveness and purity for Klal Yisrael and the world.

But Aharon is reluctant. He does not want to enter that place. For everyone else, that's the Kodesh HaKodashim, but for him, it's place where his two sons died.

Imagine the humiliation, the sadness, regret and anger, the self doubt, the survivors guilt. The questions of “What I might have done better, or differently? Maybe if I raised them with a little more or this or that... Maybe I could’ve stopped them... Maybe it all my fault? Maybe it didn’t need to be this way?”

With that pain and shame, Hashem tells Aharon: בזאת יבא אהרן אל הקדש. Bring it all in. Yom Kippur is a day that holds all of Human Experience. Everything that we are, and everything that we are not. Everything we wish to be, and haven't achieved. Yom Kippur holds all of it.

That’s the real invitation of the day. It’s the whole story, the whole person, the whole of life with all our flaws, faults and failures.

A few years ago Jeff Bezos decided to ride his rocket into orbit, he said he was looking forward to seeing earth from space to gain perspective on this life.

To this spectacle, one commenter responed:

If he wants perpective, I suggest he take a walk through a Children's Oncology Unit, or an impoverished neighborhood, or shadow a single working mom who's juggling three jobs to feed her kids... That's Perspective.

The secret of Yom Kippur is that we don't escape this world to find truth. We journey into it.

The Sifra tells us that there is a special name for Yom Kippur: “ואל יבא בכל עת” – זה יום הכפורים – Yom Kippur is called “every moment”. That is to say: Every second of our lives from last year to this one, are contained within this day. Every day from Creation until the World to Come are contained within this day.

In the deepest way, our sins are not forgiven on Yom Kippur because Hashem says “don't worry about it.” Our sins are forgiven because they are nullified in the infinity of Hashem.

Hashem Himself is the mikvah – מקוה ישראל ה׳ – when we hold onto Him, when we immerse ourselves in His Infinity, everything is part of the story. But in order to achieve this atonement, we need to be totally immersed, with all of our sadness, anger, pain, frustration and failure. With all of our joy, celebration and victory. בזאת יבא אהרן אל הקדש – We need to bring our whole selves inside.

In this place and space, there is no past, present or future. Here and only here, our pain can be healed in the grand story of Klal Yisrael. When we emerge from the Mikvah, we are purified from our sins, because the person that emerges has glimpsed at eternity. The person that exits Yom Kippur is different than the one who entered.

Rav Shlomo Twerski, the Malchus Shlomo of Denver, once served on the Beis Din for the conversion of righteous convert, a Ger-Tzedek. When the newly minted Jew arose from the Mikvah, Rav Shlomo overwhelmed by his commitment and connection to Hashem. He turned to him and said: “For your first mitzvah, as a Jew, I would like take my place and join this Beis Din!” He then proceeded to enter the mikvah himself, just as the Ger had done, and announced “I too wish to accept all of the Mitzvos! I want to become a Jew again.”

That’s the focus of Yom Kippur this year. All of us, our whole person, our whole nation. Everything and anything we are. Whoever we are. Whatever pains us. Whatever brings us joy.

For just one day, Hashem is inviting us to bring everything we have into His Mikvah. Just to be there with Him and the rest of His people.

And if we can find a way to do it, if can truly enter as we are, Hashem promises that we’ll exit as the people we all so desperately want to be – לפני ה’ תטהרו.

Wishing us all the greatest year ahead – גמר חתימה טובה.